Bada Ben, Bada Boom!

Some readers pointed out that the last edition of the newsletter was overly controversial. That's strike two.

Not one to let the haters feel neglected, our 'Ben'-evolent newsletter publisher asked me to prepare even more things for people to hate on.

Speed Limits: Should be regarded as upper limits (not lower ones). No, you're not special, you're probably just basic, and that's ok. So is following the speed limit.

Shopping Carts: The ultimate litmus test for determining good citizens. People who don't return them to their appointed receptacles should have to volunteer 40 hours as a shopping-cart-gatherer at Walmart, preferably in the dead of winter.

Music Appreciation: One of my music professors once quipped that there are only two kinds of songs: love songs and pirate songs. I'll further posit that there are only two approaches to music appreciation: as background noise or as first-class artistic expression deserving of one's full and undivided attention. I've derived value and enjoyment from both approaches, but both are largely disrupted when the person controlling the music app can't keep themselves from spamming the "Next Track" button every 5 seconds. 😉

Nicknames (or Misnomers?): While I don't pretend to fully understand the dynamics of how nicknames are 1) invented and 2) end up 'sticking', the creation of nicknames (or the varying of given names) by others in the service of disambiguation in group settings is, at best, superfluous. The more Mikes, Matts, Jens, and Johns the merrier, that's what I say!

- Mike

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Today I am excited to welcome you to our very first Guest Writer - Mike!

Why a guest writer Ben?

I'll tell you.

After sending last week's newsletter I was told "I'm so embarrassed for you" (my wife), "WHO drew that?!?!" (also my wife), and "I'm about to unsubscribe from your newsletter" (multiple). While you could argue those responses indicate I succeeded in "feeding my haters", I was not prepared for the sheer volume of debate and discontent, and so I needed to take a week off to recover.

- Ben