Bendemonium

Icarus. Napoleon Bonaparte. John Hammond. Elizabeth Holmes.

It's a timeless tale - one that is told and retold across the generations - each wave of successors offering fresh souls on the altar of arrogance, creating new embodiments of the mythos.

My friends, I have felt the sting of hubris and experienced my personal downfall. I have, as they say, been humbled.

For nearly 29 years I have walked this forsaken planet, fighting against the cruel apathy of nature. Weathering waves of confusing bureaucracy and crushing expectations of society, I have had one constant solace in my fight for life and happiness.

Yesterday that one ray of hope was torn away from me.

Some of you may remember when, many newsletters ago, I announced that Mike and I were on almost the exact same dentist appointment schedule. This sparked lots of discussion and even prompted some people to visit the dentist for the first time in years. Through it all my self-righteous voice could be heard, audaciously stating "I have never had a cavity."

Dear readers, it is with great sorrow that I announce I can no longer make this statement. I had my regularly scheduled dentist appointment yesterday morning and my entire existence came crashing down around me.

Some of you have noticed that this year has not been kind to me. Many have offered acts of service and kind words. These are much appreciated, but I now have a request of all of you.

Please hunt down and kill the Michelin Tire Man

I now firmly believe that the Michelin Tire Man heard me bragging and has chosen to enact his swift judgement. There is nothing I can do to atone; I must bring the fight to him. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

So, friends, I beseech you. Find your pitchforks, pull out your needles! We will find the lair of the Michelin Tire Man and pop him once and for all!

Thank you

- Ben