No Country for Old Ben

Hi people. You won. I'm going to sit in a dark room and rethink everything and definitely not cry or grow resentful.

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Hello to my fans!

After receiving some positive feedback, your favorite writer is back to give an update on wedding planning and my latest adventures since they seem to be more interesting than Ben's weekly existential crisis.

Wedding planning is exhausting and exciting and sometimes (often) frustrating, but it's going well. The venue is chosen, the schedule is made, flower girl training is underway, and I'm more excited every day. If you haven't already, go to shayleeandpaul.com to see details--or even just to look at hecka cute pictures of us.

Today I thought I would share the story of a date Paul and I had last week. While it wasn't the worst date I've ever been on, it definitely made the ranks of most embarrassing. I'll try and live up to Ben's delightful writing style, but no promises.

So here we go.

Paul Grayson is my everything. His luscious hair, his rippling muscles, his intelligent mind - there's nobody I would rather spend hours daydreaming about. Every once in a while, however, Paul has small moments of absent mindedness that result in him forgetting to tell me something important. Usually it's nothing too serious. That was not the case last week.

We had planned a double date with Paul's cousin and his cousin's girlfriend. I was excited to meet them, and the dinner was at a restaurant in Park City with great reviews. It was going to be a great time, so Thursday evening I rushed home from work. As usual I arrived home to find my knight in shining armor waiting for me with wildflowers and a kiss. I threw my bags on the couch and we jumped in the car, headed for Park City.

The conversation on the drive flowed easily, as it always does. We talked about our future, how many kids we're going to have (7), and how much we enjoy reading witty slice-of-life writings by people we know. I couldn't tear my eyes from him for the entire 48-minute drive, a stupid smile stuck on my face as I marveled at how much I loved him.

We arrive in Park City and I watched as Paul's muscular neck turned his beautiful head towards me. "Shaylee, darling, I forgot to mention, the plan changed and we're meeting at this bar." The soft, comforting sound of his voice lulled me into security even as a small voice at the back of my head raised a warning.

The euphoria wore off with each step towards the bar's entrance, however, as I had a sudden vision of my wallet sitting on my couch.

My wallet containing my ID.

ID that would be required to enter the bar.

Many of you know that while generally I'm a chill girlie, sometimes I find myself full of rage and passion. In this moment of panic and frustration, I looked to Paul seeking comfort. His vascular arms offered no relief, however, as the anger took over and I found myself asking the bar host "why do you need to see my ID, I'm not a minor, you freaking turd."

I was escorted out of the bar. Shame filled my heart as I saw the heartbreak on Paul's cousin's girlfriend's face. They had just ordered chips and salsa. Chips and salsa that would never be eaten because my incompetence and Paul's sin encouraged them to leave the bar with us.

We went to the restaurant, and, presumably, had a good time. I say presumably because I don't remember any of the dinner itself. All I remember is looking at Paul and noticing that his coiled chest hair didn't offer the same security that I had felt yesterday. His voice wasn't as warm and inviting. His scent just a hint less masculine.

I'm sure Paul didn't mean for me to get kicked out of a bar, that would be insane. Paul would never give me flowers and a kiss and make sure I left my ID behind. Paul would never purposefully not tell me where we were going just to embarrass me. I love Paul and we are going to have a lovely life together with 7 kids and a fish.

Paul would never.

- Shaylee

- Ben