The Benchelorette

Good morning team, and welcome to today's irregularly scheduled newsletter. Now that I have my voice back I'll be writing the next several newsletters so everyone can please stop telling me I should have Shaylee take over permanently.

The Bachelorette: The biggest news of the past few weeks is, of course, the cancellation of The Bachelorette featuring Taylor Frankie Paul. To all of you who thought I was going to say the biggest news was the Iran War, Utah's severe drought, or BTS coming back after a 4-year hiatus: sorry but you're wrong and you need to get your priorities sorted out.

ABC's cancellation of The Bachelorette has obviously caused a stir around town, but I think the person most affected by this shocking decision and the surrounding allegations is, of course, me.

The emotional turmoil I have felt over this is indescribable. The women of Momtok (and, of course, the men of Dadtok) are like a second family to me. This week's newsletter was originally going to be my reveal to the world that I was a Secret Lives of Mormon Wives stan. But after the crushing news I had to scrap everything I had written, causing this newsletter to be almost a week late.

While the leaked video and ongoing domestic assault charges may seem like irrefutable proof of the toxicity of the show, the people, and the entire lifestyle, I have to stand up and say that while I do not condone any of their actions, words, decisions, or beliefs, I stand with Taylor and Dakota during this trying time.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about or who these people are - fair. I myself was dragged into this world of plastic surgery and provocative billboards unwillingly and unjustly. Likely the less you know about this the happier and healthier you are.

The Burger: This week I tried a burger with tempura shrimp on it. This experience was truly one of the most unique I have had in my life. Dubbed (by myself) the "Poor man's surf and turf," this combination of ground beef and shrimp, topped with mushrooms, onions, teriyaki sauce, wasabi, and kewpie mayonnaise kept me guessing with every bite. Each time the burger entered my mouth I was assaulted, yet also caressed, with an unpredictable symphony of asian cuisine and american arrogance. 3.5/5

The Movie: If you've read the book Project Hail Mary, you should go see the movie. If you haven't read the book Project Hail Mary, you should go see the movie. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say Project Hail Mary, it's a movie and you should go see the movie. This movie rocked (true PHM-heads get the pun).

That's all for this week, thanks for reading and not unsubscribing when Shaylee took over.

- Ben