Bendgame

Hello team! This week's update is savory and yellow.

Mustard: Some of you have heard the story of how I was haunted last week. For those who haven't, the haunting included 10 different containers of mustard being left at oft-frequented locations in my life. This includes on my desk at work, tied to my car handle, smuggled into my backpack, and even delivered to my home.

After the first mustarding, I was confused, but amused, assuming some kind soul had gifted it to me based on a forgotten conversation.

Needless to say this amusement did not last. Concern and foreboding crept in with each new yellow container.

Day after day I found mustard in places it should not be. Taunting me. Forcing me to confront the horrible absurdity of the world we live in. Inviting insanity into my already fragile mind.

Yet I persevered. I asked my friends. My family. Even Jared. What did they know? What had they seen? Nothing.

By this time I was beginning to question reality. Who in their right mind gives someone mustard? Why was everyone I talked to about this being weird? Was mustard an important part of my personality? How could I have missed that fact?

Much like Ed Helms or Chris Pratt, I found myself at the wrong end of a joke. And, much like Toy Story, I would have to suffer through childlike antics to get to the end of the plot.

So how did the story end? I've decided the point of the story is not the end, but the insane fact that it happened at all. I won't reveal the perpetrator now. Maybe I never will. Because that would be giving them exactly what they want.

Perhaps some of you intelligent people will find the clues and discover who spent way too much money on mustard. Until then, I'm enjoying Maine Maple Champagne Mustard on my sandwiches.

And to my mustard ghost I say: ’Preciate ya, shadow daddy

- Ben